1 month!

 So Cecelia Grace Robson is ALREADY 1 month old. She is doing fabulous and is such a good baby. I have loved having a month to get to know her and spend so much time with her.

• She has gained TONS of weight since she came home. for a breastfed baby to be gaining this much weight is unusual but definitely a good sign. She eats great!
• She is in 0-3 month clothes! 
• She is awake a lot more these days. a couple hours every morning and afternoon and before bed!
• She is sleeping in her own crib in her own room!
• She wakes up once every night. Originally it was at 1am, but lately she has been sleeping for 6 hour stretched instead of 4 (yay) and it has been between 2 and 4am everyday. which is awesome! 
• She follows things with her eyes and head VERY well. 
• She responds to my voice, touch, smell and sight as well as Kel's. I am pretty sure she is also familiar with my mom's voice and smell as she reacts to her similarly as she reacts to me. 
• She can pus herself up with ehr legs and feet when she is on her stomach.
• She holds her head up both when being held and during tummy time. 
• She LOVES to be held and is super cuddly
•  BUT she also entertains herself very well when put down on the floor.
• She does great with all her older cousins poking and holding her!
• Her favorite thing to look at is a mirror. it immediately calms her down when she is upset. 
• She doesn't cry unless there is a reason 
• The doctor said it's unusual to have a first baby this calm and sleep trained and behaved, but to consider ourselves very lucky!

 Obviously we love her. life with her is great and we couldn't imagine anything different. I am excited to go back to work but really wish i didn't have to leave her (most days anyway). She grows everyday and if people go a week without seeing her she is completely different when they do see her. She lets us dress her up and put on frills, etc with no complaints! I love her and am ready to see how she grows but also wishing she could stay put for awhile and she is growing way to fast (cliche but true). She was more than worth 9 month of a difficult pregnancy and all the sickness!

This outfit is a shout out to Aunt Beth (can't wait for you to meet her) and Aunt Karen who have birthdays this week!

Her story

So, here are the wonderful details of how the most BEAUTIFUL little girl i have ever seen (sorry rest of the world) came to take her first breath. I am not gonna lie if someone had told me this birth story while i was pregnant i would have cried. It was not fun or pretty, but it was worth it the moment i held my little girl.

Thursday the 9th i had a doctor's check-up and we were going to pick the date for my induction. originally the doctor had said it would be Friday, but she was not on call this weekend and knew it was not going to be an easy ride so we opted to come in again Monday and figure things out. Frustrated the weekend passed and nothing happened so we went in Monday expecting ti be induced that night. well the doctor was ready for me to be induced, but the next appointment was not until Tuesday night. So i went home, in tears, and moped for about 24 hours. We had at appointment for Tuesday at 10pm. All day Tuesday Kel and i went out and took some pictures to mark what i looked like the day before baby was born. I was HUGE, but the pictures turned out cute. 

So after dinner with my parents and a but more waiting we went in. Within an hour they got me hooked up and ready to go, with the Petosin (sp) started.It was slow going at first, but there was no real pain so they were able to up the amounts pretty quickly throughout the night. Problems started at about 1am when my blood pressure got REALLY high. I had to lay on my side wand wasn't allowed to move. Well as i turned to my side baby shifted and the heart monitor they had on her couldn't find her even after the nurse dug around. the told em to get some sleep and tried to find her heartbeat, eventually they did and i got about 1 hour of sleep... woohoo. at 4am my mom came and let kel get some sleep, since by then they had me flipping sides every hour. At 6am the lost baby's heartbeat for over 45 minutes 9scariest 45 minutes of my life) and it was determined that when the doctor made rounds at 7am they had to break my water and put in an internal monitor for contractions and her heartbeat. Since i was on the Petocin it's mandatory to record those, and with my blood pressure through the roof and baby nowhere to be found and my contractions coming in very strong and steady we were in a big pickle. Oh and the final catch, nobody could find y cervix because it was located in an odd place, so there was no way to determine if i was progressing. However i was handling everything very well, in good enough spirits and the pain was no issue at all.

So the doc came in at 7am, broke my water, determined i was no more than a three, still possibly a 2 (10 in the ultimate goal) had a LONG way to go but this should help. We had all the internal monitors put in and baby was good and contractions were much stronger than everyone thought since i was only a 2 or 3. after another hour i was still not progressed but the contractions were close to together. for a few more hours things were really picking up, but again i had not progressed any. with contractions 2 minutes apart and lasting almost a minute with no progress i was starting to panic.I was passing out between contractions and unable to handle them, plus i had to lay on my right side in order to keep my hip in socket. I was given small dosing of pain med, but they were reluctant to give me more because they were gradually dropping baby's heart rate. So i started asking about the options we had for pain management or other. the words c-section cam up and i knew that would be the safest route for all of us. Kel and i talked so briefly, but he could see that this was the safest route and recovery time would not be a factor if baby didn't come out safe. So at 11:00 we opted for a c-section and by 12:00 (noon) they were wheeling me in. Ounce they got started i realized the midsection of my epidural was not as strong as it should be and i c9ould feel them beginning to cut into my abdomen. I not so politely screamed at the doctors that i could feel it all. the only immediate way (as i was open, bleeding, prone to infection) to sedate me was morphine, so they pull out a HUGE vial of morphine and off i go. I remember nothing about the c-section (at one point i told kel Harry Potter was NOT the father of my child, i cussed out all the doctors while joking with them, and proceeded to exclaim i had fallen down the rabbits hole and into knock turn alley- that's right baby girl this is how mommy brought you into the world) and have no clue other than the picture of the first time i met my daughter. however she was safe and beautiful and PERFECT. they did have trouble getting her out, they had to widen my incision beyond normal lengths and forceps were used not once, but TWICE to get my c-section baby out. She just didn't want to come out. The doctor a day later told me had i tried to push it could have been really dangerous and bad seeing how reluctant she was to come out and that i would have had an emergency c-section anyway. The timing i had in making that decision saved a lot of trauma, pain, and possible problems and tearing for both me and her.

 perfect from the start!

 

first family photo- i have NO memory of this but the picture's so sweet to have

Cecelia Grace Robson came into my life, this world and our little family on the Assumption of Our Lady (coolest Holy Day) Aug. 15th at 12:36pm weighing 7lbs 12 ounces and measuring 20 1/2 inches.

Cuddles with mamma!

 SUCH a cutie!

 Going HOME!

Too cute not to Love!

First bath- not her favorite, but she likes them now!

One of my favorite outfits, her butt has a giant cupcake and ruffles on it! 

Daddy wearing her in the moby wrap- his new favorite way to do chores! 

Since then she has blossomed. The doctor has told us every time she has seen Cecelia that she is amazing, and one of the most perfect babies ever. She was holding her own head up day one (not kidding either) and she eats amazing. i was worried about breastfeeding but this kid has led the way and does great. I was released from the hospital a day and a half earlier than most c-sections. She has officially gained back all the weight she had lost in the hospital. Also i have started pumping (i feed her 8-12 times a day and pump 2 times a day) about 10-15 ounces a day (which seems normal to me, but i have been told from others that 10-15 ounces for the first WEEK of baby's life in UNHEARD OF- but we need the supply for when i go back to work). She i wonderful and one of the most beautiful babies i have ever seen- yes i am biased! She only cries when she is hungry and is So well behaved. sleep good at night and on a schedule during the day already! Motherhood is SO MUCH EASIER than being pregnant and we are so blessed with our little family.

weird to think...

that i can honestly say i am going to have a baby this week! Yup that's right if i haven't had her by Friday i will be induced this week.

It was a long conversation i had with my hubby, but after finding out how big baby is and the last visit where the doc said i am very close to my cervix being "ready" we decided to go ahead and let them induce me at 39 weeks. There's a lot of controversy about inducing before 40 weeks or even 41 weeks, but each case is individual. Literally right now baby is so big that if we wait until 40 or 41 weeks there's a chance i wont be induced as much as a planned c-section. I definitely don't want a planned c-section s(if it happens no problem that's what is best for baby, but i want to TRY natural first before we decide on surgery). So instead we are opting that teh first possible moment it is legal to induce (at 39 weeks) i will be heading in to get this going! woo hoo! of course baby girls ALWAYS has the option of just coming early by herself and i am MORE than encouraging of that behavior.

The biggest thing lately is that everyone i talk to tell me if we need anything just ask! I always feel weird when people off this because i am not sure who i can ask and what i can ask without overstepping my boundaries. Kel and I already do need help in numerous ways and i know for a fact we will be needing help after baby in even more ways. I hate asking for help, so maybe this way if people want to help they can look here ans see what we need and if it's plausible to help. the top ones are:

• food! we are stocking up on freezer meals! honestly cooking is a struggle for both of us, shopping is even worse and we have been trying to freeze everything so that after baby we don't have to dwell on what we will eat. So far we have enough food for 1-2 weeks if we are careful! this is nothing and as i will be home and not at work eating this kinda worries me! we aren't very picky and will not turn down food if someone ever offer to bring us a meal (either now for the freezer or after baby is here for dinner!)
• diapers! we are doing cloth diapers and we only have 6 with minimal of the needed "accessories." On average you need 18-20 for one kid if you plan on doing laundry every day. The ones we registered for are $20 a diaper and it's all adding up. we have been setting aside money to get them, then today kel's car blew a flat tire and we spent our diaper money on his tire! So we are officially having issue figuring out what to do for diapers. The nice things is once we have them we don't need anymore, EVER and my sister is letting us use all her newborn diapers for right after baby. Big issue though is if baby is as big as they say, she will only fit in newborn diapers for 2 weeks and then we are back to square one with the no diapers thing! It's so easy to order online (if you wanna help out form a distance) and then Kel and I (or a willing helper) can just go and pick them up from the store! Our registry is still up at the website all needed information is here: 
• Event name: Cecelia Grace Robson
•  walks- haha RIGHT NOW i need someone to go on walks with me until she gets here. I am trying to take a long walk (by long i mean VERY VERY slow as i waddle pretty badly, but not very far in distance, just down the trail 1/4 of a mile-ish) everyday but Kel works ALL week overnights and i am too paranoid to walk by myself. I feel bad asking people but if someone where to arrange a date and time i know it'd be easier for me to get moving! And honestly a couple weeks after baby when i am ready to get moving and have nowhere to go i am sure i will need more walking buddies.
• lots of prayers! 

Pretty much right now it's all jitters! Kel has to work all week and then we can only afford for him to take a minimal amount of time off after baby comes. I am super nervous about when baby is home and it's just me alone, but at the same time i am SO miserable right now i feel like i am going to bust if i have to wait any longer! i feel a little worse every day and i can't imagine what i will feel like by the end of the week!

Ready, Set, wait around for awhile more!

I am officially 37 weeks, which means i am full term and if i were to go into labor they would be ready to deliver and not try to stop anything. This week has been a crazy week for baby and i know a lot of people want updates so here is what happened:

Thursday (8am) i had a doctor's appointment. I was "checked" (for dilation, in simple terms for my friends who don't know pregnancy jargon i need to be 100% effaced and 10cm dilated for a healthy delivery) and the doc said i am more than 50% effaced but only 1 cm dilated. She also said she thought baby might be breach (butt down) so she wanted a sono. She was SHOCKED that i wasn't more dilated and very honestly said that it would be better for me to go earlier, healthier for baby considering how sick i have been and she's hoping it happens in the next week.

** side note for the next week the doctor i really DO NOT want to deliver Cecelia is on vacation, so the timing would be PERFECT if she came sooner because i wouldn't have to worry about who is on call!

After we saw the doc we had our sono and baby is BIG especially considering i technically have 3 more weeks expected to go. She was measuring with a large head, big belly and TALL a 7lbs 13 ounces! Now i know that the measurement can be off, but how i have been feeling the weight lately 8lbs sounds about right. the best part is she is head down and READY to go.

We officially got the say that any day now and it's GOOD news (not scary becuase she's early news). Her lungs look good, her face is down and she's riding low. My belly has officially "dropped" so it'll be no more than two weeks of waddling.

Later that day I came home form work and kel and i did a ton of freezer cooking. as we were finishing i had a random gush of fluid. We THOUGHT it could be my water breaking, but i had had NO contractions and wasn't dilated at all 8 hours before. we called and the hospital told us to come in and get it checked. After one hour it turns out my water had not broken, baby had moved and her large head hit my bladder and i lost my bladder (most embarrassing thing ever!). Apparently this late in the game that happens to MOST women at least once. The weird part was that i was having contractions (the machine measures them) and they were steady and only 2 minutes apart, but i was not dilating AT ALL or feeling the contractions, i only felt a couple and they did not hurt at all.However i am fully effaced but not at all dilated and i need BOTH! Luckily my doctor was on call and she said i should go home, get comfy and wait it out. Since i know i have a high pain tolerance she said to be careful, i might not feel how serious things get. So after getting all worked up and calling in at work kel and  i went home no baby and no signs of WHEN baby was coming.

When we got home we took a LONG walk to my sister's house and took the LONG way back, went to BWW and i ate SUPER spicy wings (Which i NEVER do), saw a rainbow and took another small walk.   Kel went to play poker and two good friends came over and cleaned my house for me (I am SO SO SO grateful for them because my house was a disaster and i had no energy to even TRY to clean any part of it. Thanks to them everything is done including laundry and putting away all baby's fresh clean clothes.) and i relaxed.i definately was having contractions, but they weren't consistent. So i went to bed.

No more contractions.... i apparently slept it off... who does that????

So i woke up feeling fine, no baby today, went to work and have spent the WHOLE afternoon walking AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!

I am super frustrated! i'm ok with waiting another week or two for baby, i was told they will induce me in 2 weeks if i haven't gone because ti will be too risky for me to go later than that, and i'm ok with that. i am also ok with baby coming this weekend as i am EXHAUSTED! either way i really need baby to make up her mind. she is ready, i am set.... when do we go? Either way we need to get an informed decision from this baby.

nesting and swelling and nausea OH MY!

I have been waiting my whole pregnancy to finally hit that nesting stage i heard so much about. Way back when i had just announced i was pregnant a lady i used to baby sit for gave me ALL her old girls' 3-12 month clothes. She had her first daughter in august and said she's been waiting to pass them on to someone who has an august baby, so they are for the correct season/warmth etc. They have been sitting in a bin, unfolded and unsorted for six months. Today i finally took them all out, sorted them and put them away. i have all the 3-6 month clothes in 1/2 my old dresser (organized by onesie, pants, outfit and then the cute little dresses and sweaters are hung up) and the rest is organized by size and put back into storage, in the closet not baby's floor! all the newborn stuff is out and in a pile (we don't have a hamper or basket yet but hopefully will get one soon) to be washed and put away. I still need pretty much everything for baby (changing station, crib, sheets, diapers, wipes, bags, etc) but i know where it will all go so when we get it it's easy to put away! Also we finally got decor on the walls of the nursery (just one wall) and it's SO cute.Once we get the nursery finished i PROMISE i will post pictures!

How far along?: 34 weeks

 How big is baby?: according to the doctor right on track.

Stretch marks?:yes but if anyone is seeing my stomach at this point it's because they are my husband or doctor and neither of them care.

 Sleep?: not bad, i am sick of peeing all night every night

 

Food cravings? nothing, i am back to being sick. literally every time i eat something within 5 minutes i am throwing it all back up. i don't feel nausea or anything, in fact i feel like i am always super hungry but every time i eat i have to excuse myself, get sick, then i can finish my meal in peace. Sorry if that's TMI but it's the weirdest thing. after I'm sick i am able to eat small portions. this has happened every meal for 4 days now. It's easier than when i was sick before, but i wish i knew what caused it. I know it's not WHAT i eat because i have made sure to eat such a variety to rule out anything specific so i can cut it form my diet. I think i will just blame the heat. I've been SO hot ALL the time with this weather that it seems like a good thing to blame.

 

Movement?: not as much lately. i know she is getting a bit cramped in there

Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: very stretched out, but still an innie! Kel and i had a bet, he bet my belly button would be an outie by now- i totally won! i bet i never have an outie

What are you looking forward to this week? well i REALLY want to start packing our hospital bag, but i am making myself wait at least 2 more weeks. That plus i have NO nursing bras or tank tops or ANYTHING. we take a class next week on breastfeeding, etc so i want to wait until after that class to buy any of that. plus i have BABY SHOWERS (so pumped) and Kel and I aren't buying anything until after those. But we are both getting overtime on our next paydays so i am hoping to set money aside for diapers (check out www.pinstipesandpolkadots.com to see what kind of cloth diapers we registered for) and other baby needs.


Random question: did anyone else who had a late summer baby ever get swollen hands/feet/legs/everything! yesterday i was outside for the shortest time ever (5 minutes) and afterwards my hands and legs were SO swollen i couldn't make a fist or walk. i immediately laid down, drank a ton of water and Gatorade and iced them. It hurts so much when my feet swell and i was wondering if anyone else had to deal with extreme swelling and HOW you dealt with it.

the wait is on!

How far along?: 33 weeks

 How big is baby?: according to the doctor right on track.

Stretch marks?:yes but if anyone is seeing my stomach at this point it's because they are my husband or doctor and neither of them care.

 Sleep?: good! when i actually sleep it's GREAT but my sleep habits are a bit off with work. 

 

Food cravings? nothing too extreme. this morning Kel asked what i wanted for breakfast and i said "toast and ice cream." the best part is he brought me toast AND ice cream!

 

Movement?: ALWAYS! she is always moving and it's EXHAUSTING. not to mention when she's more active it's more painful!

Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: very stretched out, but still an innie!

What are you looking forward to this week? honestly just being one week closer. last Friday i was in the hospital having a couple of contractions with some bleeding and back pain. It turns out i had a bladder infections that could possibly have been working it's way to my kidneys (hence the back pain). they gave me meds and said i need to keep my feet up as much as possible. Well this week at work things went CRAZY and i ended up working crazy hours (including an overnight) and it was opposite of what i should have been doing. plus the massive heat wave meant my feet swelled to enormous proportions (the doctor literally was shocked that my FLIP FLOP was still on). So i had a check up yesterday and although i still have a bladder infection it's nothing to worry about. the biggest thing my doctor said is it's still to early to be comfortable with delivery and she's on vacation for the next 2 weeks so i need to be really careful (i actually will be this time). No being outside in the heat AT ALL and nothing intense, she said preferably don't celebrate the 4th just eat food with your feet up. She then said she would be SHOCKED if i didn't deliver early i just need to hold on for 4 more weeks until i am full term!

It's scary to hear a doctor say that baby is already moving into a delivery position and with the heat and my active lifestyle plus all the complications i have already had that baby just needs to wait a few more weeks. As ready as i am to not be pregnant and hold my baby girl i know i need more time and baby ESPECIALLY needs more time. Luckily with everything going on bed rest wouldn't really do much or prevent much so i just need to relax more than i do. This means when i am not working i do no housework and poor kel has to pick up all the slack. i don't think he minds but it bothers me that he does ALL the cleaning and cooking and laundry, etc.

however we added a little bit more accessories to the nursery and all we need are a few more things (the big one's a crib) and it will look ready for a baby!

Unable to Beat the Heat

How far along?: 32 weeks

 How big is baby?: big! and i feel a little heavier every day.

Stretch marks?: i honestly don't even look or notice

 Sleep?: i am getting used to having to wake up to pee or roll over- and yes i need assistance or full concentration just to roll over now so it does in fact wake me up!

Food cravings? ice cream, but i think that was more because of the sweltering heat outside and less a craving. I am finally eating again so it's been exciting to eat lots of food!

Movement?: LOTS and lots of movement. at the doctor's office the doc was trying to get a heartbeat and she put the machine up to my stomach for a minute and found about 3 beats before Cecelia literally kicked the machine until it slid off my stomach. after that the doctor couldn't find a heart beat because she was moving too much too fast! Her kicks and VERY strong now and my whole belly moves and is visible to people around me. It kinda weirds some people out!

 Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: very stretched out, but still an innie!

What are you looking forward to this week? we finish out birthing class this week. it was actually really informative, but i will be glad when it's done! the whole class has scared me and made me more and more nervous for the whole actual giving birth process. Ignorance was kinda bliss, but at least now i know what to expect and what options there are! Then it's time for BABY SHOWERS! i am really excited for these!


Sidenote- being VERY pregnant in the is not something i recommend. i am naturally a very warm blooded person and kinda hate heat to begin with, but this summer is pure torture. Poor Kel has been cold so many times and i am just sweating! I haven't even been able to make it to the pool very much this summer because i have been working crazy hours, so there is literally no escaping this horrible heat. I dread going outside even if it's just to get into my car! I can't wait until autumn, in fact i am ok with just skipping the rest of summer and having a SUPER long Autumn.

10 weeks left

How far along?: 30 weeks.... the countdown begins!

How big is baby?: 3 and a half pounds

Stretch marks?: i honestly don't even look or notice

 Sleep?: awful i peed so much and i am thirsty all the time so i keep drinking which make me pee more! plus i have to wake up to repositions myself now....

Food cravings? pizza, i saw someone order a pizza on TV and i of course i then HAD to have pizza

Movement?: yup and i still get excited every time she kicks! i doubt it ever gets old. however the hard kicks make me loose my breath, but most people just think i am hiccuping so it's not really a big deal

 Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: still innie, where it will stay!

What are you looking forward to this week? we have started birthing classes and they aren't too bad or too awkward. this week though i am most excited about date night! i can't wait because i never get to see my husband or spend time with him so i am mandating a date night!

i can't see my feet when i stand up!

How far along?: 28 weeks and I'm not gonna lie i am a bit bummed. I though i was either 29 or 30 weeks today and it turns out i was wrong. i was reading ahead in my week by week book.

How big is baby?: quite large by the looks of me. i have turned into a nice basketball (in MOST clothes, some just make me look large). People keep asking me when i am gonna "pop" and i always get frustrated because i still have ALL summer to go. I know I'm big but i am baffled how, i have officially gained 2lbs in 2 weeks, which is not much compared to how big i am. Total i lost 35lbs and gained 8... i am still -27lbs! not sure how baby is so big if i am not gaining, but I'll take it.

Stretch marks?: they actually have gotten lighter and less itchy this week. i put on special lotion daily and i got a new soap, so i am hoping that keeps them away!

 Sleep?: irregular, but i am pretty sure that i less pregnancy related and more "my husband now works overnights 2-3 nights a week" related. It's weird sleeping in a bed without him, but when he does sleep in the bed with me i think it's too crowded (and sorry hun, but the pillows WIN!)

Food cravings? buffalo wings, i am OBSESSED! i eat them without any ranch now (i used to SMOTHER then in ranch) and i eat spicier ones that usual.

 

Movement?: lots, always. and they are now borderline violent.

 Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: it is a little closer to the surface, but definitely still an innie! Kel has some weird fascination with it (i claim it will never pop out and he says it definitely will, so the bet is on!) and checks ti everyday to make sure it is getting closer to popping.

What are you looking forward to this week? i have a doctor's appointment this week and the baby's godmother is coming with to see her on the "big screen" and i also have to do my sugar test (yuck). But this is the first time we have gone the recomended amount of time between visits and not had to have an extra one. Since there have been so many concerns i have been going every 2 weeks when i should have been going every 4, but this time i will be 4 weeks between appointments (three and a half technically). Just in time for me to start going every 2 weeks again *sigh*. but it has all been worth it. i just can't wait until she is HERE, I'm more antsy than i was 12 weeks before my wedding!

Starting to feel real

How far along?: 27 weeks! Officially Third Trimester!

How big is baby?:  over 2lbs

Stretch marks?: they aren't as bad as i anticipated!

 Sleep?: well i am usually so exhausted by the end of the day i fall asleep around 8-9pm and i wake up between 5-6a so i would say i'm getting some pretty good sleep!

Food cravings? nothing really. i'm eating and that's all i really care about most days!

 
Movement?: most of the time! and her kicks are getting even stronger!

 Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: still hidden!

What are you looking forward to this week?Well it's kinda unreal now, kel and i have been saying we are going to take this one trimester at a time, which turned out to be REALLY perfect for us. I was so sick we have been focused on ME staying healthy for baby. However now that we are third trimester it's time to do/think about all those things we have been neglecting. We need to find a pediatrician. we signed up for classes, we need to go back through our registries, we are garage sailing to see if we find anything good that will come in handy. Pretty much we've hit crunch time and instead of figuring out how to live pregnant we are trying to figure out how to live with a BABY!

Hearing what a mom-to-be never wants to hear

How far along?: 26 weeks!

How big is baby?:  she's big, but could be a little bigger!

Stretch marks?:yup! my stomach is FAR from attractive

 Sleep?: not very well lately, but i think that is more from Kel's new overnight position than from the pregnancy.

Food cravings? nothing... i've been really really sick again this week and have barely eaten anything at all. however every time i see chicken wings i get really excited, so i am eating out with my little sister who is finally home from Spain at BWW today.... we will see how that goes

Movement?: she always seems to be moving UNLESS there is someone around who is really excited to feel her kick... then she gets shy!

 Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: still hidden!

What are you looking forward to this week? First i can say what i am NOT looking forward to this week:

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. Learned A LOT about what has been going on for the past 20 weeks. Turns out that there was a tear in the placenta as it was forming around week 15, that's what put me in the ER with bleeding. since then i have had ultrasounds and doctor's appointments every two weeks because they needed to monitor the tear. After 20 week the baby stops receiving nutrients directly from the mother and starts receiving them through the placenta (sorry if this is TMI for some people). Well now that i am 26 weeks the doctor measured and said that structurally baby is an appropriate size. She was VERY concerned through to hear that i am still sick and can't keep down any nutrients. I don't eat meat at all like i should (protein) and other than cheese and chocolate i am pretty much anti-food right now. for four weeks i only gained 1.5 pounds. The doctor is definitely concerned because at this gestation period the placenta gets nutrients DIRECTLY from what i eat- to simplify my food detours through the placenta before getting into my small intestine for me to receive nutrients. Baby takes what she needs and i get the rest, except i have nothing left in reserves and i am not eating enough (good or bad) to support us both. This means that even if Baby is 8lb (very possible) she will be all structure and no substance and will not be nourished like she should. This could lead to her being premature, very sick at birth, unable to gain weight after birth, breastfeeding issues, complications during birth, and finally this could affect EVERYTHING developing, brain, liver, lungs, etc.

However, there is some hope... The doctor has me on a special diet. I am supposed to be VERY VERY careful with foods all pregnant women are supposed to avoid, hot dogs, lunch meat, undercooked eggs, caffeine, etc. I also am on protein shakes that have extra vitamins in them. Along with that i am on a "nut" diet. since there's no risk of baby having a peanut allergy i am supposed to be eating cashews, almonds, peanuts (yes peanut butter DOES count!) and other nuts to help me get protein. a handful of EACH KIND possible a day! Not only that but since i am having a hard time keeping down fruit she told me to try and hide it in things... make homemade ice cream with TONS of fresh fruit in it, sherbert, cut it up and put it in ANYTHING i can stomach! Fruit Juice! basically anything at all. And on top of that i am to be eating very small slow meals ALL DAY! If i eat a large fast meal i risk upsetting my stomach, which i having a very hard time keeping up as it is, so i need to munch on food all day long as much as possible. This also means caffeine is a big no-no. She said i can drink no more than 12 ounces when needed to keep off headaches, but i am supposed to be weening myself off caffeine, especially if i am going to try breastfeeding... however chocolate is still allowed in small doses.

It's a lot to take in, and it's really scary to be reading about the possible effects of a malnourished baby. i would be lying if i said i didn't feel like a failure. It is all kind of ironic because eating has always been a strong point for me. The number one thing i have to do is make sure i keep up good exercise and healthy eating, two things i have never been good at keeping up with! however Cecelia is MORE than worth it and if it means we have to spend extra on our food budget and less on gas just to buy 8 different kinds of nuts each week, then that's what we will have to do!

Does anyone have any recipes that are yummy, low fat, high fiber, protein and vitamins???????

still not so big

So we got a new nurse at work and she was asking me when i was due, she thought i was 4 or 5 months. I told her in august, i just hit 6 month and her jaw dropped. She laughed and said I'm not nearly as big as i should/could be! She then asked if this was my 2nd or 3rd, and i responded that it was my first. she just sighed and said it wasn't fair, while the other nurse in the room exclaimed "i wish i had stayed moderate sized and not gained 75lbs for my first!"  This was a very weird conversation for me because i feel HUGE and like i double in size everyday, but then i will see someone else who is 6 months and i suddenly don't feel so big. However this came at a HUGE cost keeping my weight gain to a minimum (negative)!

How far along?: 25 weeks!

How big is baby?:  not sure, but we get to see her again next week!

 Stretch marks?:yup! my stomach is FAR from attractive

 Sleep?: much better. for a whole week i have slept all through the night, not even getting up to pee!

Food cravings? ice cream... it's been really bad! but i think it's because it's been 85+ degree outside.

 

Movement?:always! there is literally a party in my tummy going on 24/7

 Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: still hidden!

What are you looking forward to this week? seeing her at the doc appointment!

6 down 4 more to go

How far along?: 24 weeks!

How big is baby?:  big... thats all i can tell you! she is over 1lb!

 Stretch marks?:yup! my stomach is FAR from attractive
 
Maternity clothes?: always, i got a new dress i want to wear for my brother-in-laws wedding and i can't WAIT to wear it!

 Sleep?: it is what it is!

Food cravings? no more poptarts, but i have gone out for chips and salsa a few times! 

Movement?:lots! always! i feel like she is ALWAYS moving!

 Gender?: GIRL!

Belly button?: still hidden!

What are you looking forward to this week? not sure, i've still been getting sick almost daily so as always i am looking for an end to that! it's kinda nice to finally hit the 6 month mark, but i feel like i have so much farther to go! However i have officially been asked to pick out baby shower dates... that's super exciting! 

Advice WANTED!

 Unless it is you just telling me to get over it... then you can keep your advice to yourself!

How far along?: 23 weeks!

How big is baby?: honestly i have stopped believing the size charts because apparently this week the size of a banana, which is WAY smaller than even the smallest of watermelons AND we know for a fact that Cecelia is longer than most babies so i am pretty sure she is much longer than a banana. And two weeks ago her weight was measuring at about a pound (which was perfectly normal) but i am pretty sure she weighs more than that already because I have gotten tons bigger and my stomach has gotten tons HEAVIER (even though i have not gained any more weight)

 Stretch marks?: they actually don't look bad and look rather natural.

Maternity clothes?: even regular sweatpants don't work anymore, they all roll off my stomach unless they have a BIG belly band on them. Plus they are all getting so tight and drawstrings only stretch so far i'm desperate. I do have a few nice long and lightweight dresses though!

Sleep?: Yeah, that's a constant battle. I wake up AT LEAST 3 times a night to pee, eat or just because i can't sleep but i am tired EVERY morning no matter how much sleep i actually got.

Food cravings?: yeah i am still eating a lot of poptarts (healthy i know) and i'm still really picky. TWICE in the past week i have gone to a restaurant, ordered my favorite meal and been unable to eat it because of the smell of it. However i think i could eat chips and salsa EVERY day of the week and be fine! i am so confused by my eating habits! Almost everything is unappealing to be except pop tarts, buttered noodles and chips and salsa! I barely eat when i get food but i'm ALWAYS hungry! was it like this for anyone else?????????? I feel like i should suck it up and just eat what is in front of me, but it ALWAYS makes me sick when i do. The doctor said to just eat what i feel like and it as much as possible since i am still having problems gaining enough weight, but we can't afford for me to eat QDOBA everyday and honestly it's SO annoying to have to go grocery shopping every time i am hungry because i am being picky. I am SO SO SO SO SO frustrated!

Does anyone have anything helpful for me to try, or should i just try to eat what i can when i can and hope this passes??????????????????????

Movement?: She moves a lot, and it's actually kinda painful a lot of the time. Luckily she moves mostly during the day when i am awake and i have never NOTICED her moving at night or woken up from it or anything!

 Gender?: BABY GIRL!!!!!!! Cecelia Grace Robson

Belly button?: almost not there at all... seriously though it is SUCH an innie and my stomach has gotten so big and hard that the belly button hole has closed up and you can't even stick your finger in there.
 
What are you looking forward to this week? well my doctor noticed that i am having a problem holding my stomach up (well my skin and muscles aren't strong enough to keep my stomach from sagging). this is from all my weight loss; i FINALLY learned. When you loose weight your skin looses it elasticity, which i why if you loose TOO much TOO fast you end up with excess skin everywhere that just "hangs" like it's dead. Well i lost so much so fast and my skin and muscles couldn't react normal because i was still growing even though i was loosing weight, very very backwards. So my doctor recommended i get a band to wear around my stomach and back (very similar to a lifting belt that people wear when lifting weights to help them NOT hurt their back) to help lift my stomach and relieve my back pain. The main reason is that my doctor doesn't want the baby sitting as low as she is because it could put extra pressure on my hips (which i have had LOTS of problems with BEFORE i got pregnant) which could mean LOTS of bad things. So i got this band and it actually feels really good and much more comfortable than without it. It also makes me look less awkward, i had a belly before but it was misshapen due to me carrying low. Now it actually looks round and it feels SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE! i can stand without holding it up with my hands and i can sit easier too!

Overall things are going better, but every day is a constant struggle. I do not know how some people do it. I am so blessed that the issues i have had to deal with have not been harmful to Cecelia, but it's still frustrating that they are so uncomfortable and painful for me. I am more anxious by the day for Cecelia to get here but at the same time all i want is her healthy and safe. It's also hard because i am the first of my immediately family and my friends to be pregnant, and those i know who are or have been haven't had any issues so their advice is more like "oh i never had that but i'm sure it can't be THAT bad. I mean my pregnancy was perfectly normal and i'm sure you are just nervous being a first time mom." I'm so sick of hearing that i could scream at people. I know women have been through SO MUCH WORSE than this before, but i still need to know how to handle and deal with everything NOW!

22 weeks!

How far along?: 22 weeks!

How big is baby?: a small watermelon... except Cecelia is longer than she is round, so watermelon is probably the wrong image!

Stretch marks?: they are sprouting up, but i barely notice anymore

Maternity clothes?: yup!

Sleep?: I haven't been sleeping very good lately! i feel my good sleeping patterns were very short lived!

Food cravings?: i had a dream last night about fried chicken, woke up and was about to ask Kel to go get me some when i realized everywhere that sells good fried chicken is closed.... so i went back to bed and literally dreamed some more of eating fried chicken!

Movement?: lots of it! usually during the day and rarely at night- which is AWESOME! i hope that pattern stays!

 Gender?: BABY GIRL!!!!!!! Cecelia Grace Robson

Belly button?: barely there!
 
What are you looking forward to this week?: well i am excited to OFFICIALLY be out of the "danger zone." After 22 weeks a baby is developed enough that if anything happens the chances of them surviving go up each week. There is officially no more chance of miscarriage, just having a premature baby and health defects. However i am stilol beign super careful, it's just good to know that if anything goes wrong they can get Cecelia out and each week her chances get better and better! Plus it's nice to be past the halfway point. However before August seemed like SO FAR AWAY and like we had tons of time to plan for everything, and not August feel like it's SO CLOSE! especially since the doctor wants us to take all the birthing classes, etc, in June because of enrollment and due date questions. There's a chance that my Due Date (Aug. 17th) could be off by 2 weeks in either directions, so either August 6th or August 26th work as my alternative due dates. So she wants me to be prepared stating August 1st for anything and there is NO WAY they would let me go past August 30th. So the entire month just got blacked out in my calendar.

How far along?: 21 weeks!

How big is baby?: a cantelope

Stretch marks?: nothing too new

Maternity clothes?: i got a new dress for Easter!

Sleep?: I haven't been sleeping very good lately! i feel my good sleeping patterns were very short lived!

Food cravings?: anything and everythin, lots of chocolate

Movement?: Lots! It's hit or miss fo whether otehr people can feel it, but every time kel is around and talks she almost ALWAYS kicks which tells me we have a little daddy's girl on our hands already!  I think she likes how deep his voice it!

 Gender?: BABY GIRL!!!!!!!

Belly button?: barely there!
 
What are you looking forward to this week?: more movements. and more eating!

Baby Fever!

I completely forgot about week 18, but not a whole lot new happened so i am just picking up again with week 19!

How far along?: 19 weeks!

How big is baby?:a large mango!

Stretch marks?: nothing too new


Maternity clothes?: yeah, i'm getting very limited on what i can wear!

Sleep?: yup, a solid 8 hours a night! however i really miss sleeping on my stomach!

Food cravings?: honestly, if i see someone eating it chance are i will end up eating it very shortly

Movement?: we have kick and squirms and i can feel her whenever she is moving. kel got to feel the first kick and lots ever since. if i drink or eat any sort of caffeine baby goes nuts!

 Gender?: BABY GIRL!!!!!!!

Belly button?: it's still very much an innie!
 
What are you looking forward to this week?: less headaches! i have been getting one everyday now and i am really sick of them. some days they turn into migraines and there's no way to get rid of them. However i have been feeling TONS better and although i still don't eat very much i am no longer sick or nauseous when i do eat! Since i have not gained any weight after my initial loss (final count i lost 35 pounds and have gained 0) we are really hoping i can gain a few pound before my next doctor's appointment.

It's A...

                     Baby Robson is coming August 2012 and SHE is a SWEET BABY GIRL!!!

17 weeks!

So  because i was late posting one week i completely forgot about posting this week. plus with us moving and everything i am all over the place!

How far along?: 17 weeks!

How big is baby?: not too sure... maybe my open hand???

Stretch marks?: Yes! and they itch!

Maternity clothes?: Definitely! am borrowing a sweatshirt from my dad

Sleep?: not so good this week, but i think it's becuase i am starting to get uncomfortable, plus stress!

Food cravings?: chocolate... and lots of it!!

Movement?: still just little bits here and there!

 Gender?:we will announce it Friday!

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?: getting settled into the new house, and painting baby's room! can't wait to start nesting!

How far along?: 16 weeks!

How big is baby?: an avacado

Stretch marks?: Yes! and they itch!

Maternity clothes?: Definitely! am borrowing a sweatshirt from my dad

Sleep?: yes all night every night. and waking up not as tired! it's a great feeling

Food cravings?: chocolate... and lots of it!!

Movement?: yes, felt baby kick (kel did too) and saw lots of movement on the sonogram.

Gender?: I KNOW! but we are gonna wait to have it confirmed one more time before we announce it.

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?:moving! we close on the house on friday, so then starts a week/month of moving!

Doctor's visit

So today has already been interesting. I had a doctor's appointment bright and early. first thing on the agenda was "what bit my stomach." It's a fun game we played, since a HUGE red, painful, itchy spot showed up this morning on my stomach right next to my belly button. Doctor came in, said "hey you shouldn't sleep with spiders" and gave me some meds. she said if it gets worse go to prompt care because she does babies and this isn't baby related!

once we solved that mystery it was sonogram time. Since baby had been lazy up until this point i had three to four sips of Dr. Pepper before this visit to wake baby up! it worked. the little buggar wouldn't stop moving long enough to let us get a good picture! However baby was waving (it's left arm, maybe it will be a lefty like my dad) the whole time. i of course cried when baby waved hello to mommy and daddy. We also got to see the very big round belly (amazing to have such a big growing baby when i am still loosing weight!) and a few alien like facial features.

So then we decided, since i am 2 days away from week 16, to do a 2nd sonogram and just guess at babies gender. we did, and we know the strong guess, but we have another appointment in 2 weeks to confirm, so all will stay hidden until then!

still growing!

How far along?: 15 weeks!

How big is baby?: a softball, except not as round and much longer

Stretch marks?: Yes! and they itch!

Maternity clothes?: Definitely!

Sleep?: yes all night every night. and waking up not as tired! it's a great feeling

Food cravings?: chocolate muffins! i was in tears and poor kel couldn't find one for me!

Movement?: not yet, but soon!

Gender?: we find out in 1 month!

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?: i still cling to the hope that i will someday soon feel better, although common sense says i am gonna be sick throughout the whole thing!

+2

How far along?: 14 weeks!

How big is baby?: still about the size of my fist, just a little longer than last week.

Stretch marks?: Yes! and they itch!

Maternity clothes?: 100%- i put on a t-shirt that has always been big on me and it was not long enough to cover my stomach completely.
 
Sleep?: slept last night all the way though, hoping this is a trend

Food cravings?: chocolate! i can't get enough!

Movement?: it's moving but i can't feel it

Gender?: the doc made a joke about how it seems like a boy this week! as much fun as it is to guess, i am anxious to find out!

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?: less stress. we met with the doctor and all is going well. I gained two pounds in two weeks, so the doctor is hopeful i am on the up rise. It's wierd to finally be gaining weight. I am hoping i don't gain too much too quick, i would like it to be nice and even at the end of it all. but baby is healthy and now is growing and i am finally getting enough nutrients in my system to support growth. I can usually eat a couple small meals a day without getting too sick! I had a sinus infection all week so i couldn't smell anything. It sucked being sick but i enjoyed the nasal relief while i had it.

Welcome to teh 2nd Trimester!

How far along?: 13 weeks! Officially int eh 2nd Trimester!

How big is baby?:  MY fist (there was a lot of debate, the books aid a fist, but human hands come in so many sizes that i made the decision that it is MY fist!)

Stretch marks?: no new ones

Maternity clothes?: yup
 
Sleep?: starting to sleep all teh way through the night, a whole 8 hours in a row! yay

Food cravings?: nope, although i eat A LOT of CRISPIX. one day that's all i ate and i finished the whole box in a day

Movement?: we can now feel and find the heartbeat when we search, and it moves around so i know baby is moving around

Gender?: no clue!

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?:getting better, eating more and getting active again. I haven't felt like me lately but i am hoping i start to again soon. i am still a little careful and worried from Monday, but we see the doctor this week (again, they must be making a fortune off of us) so hopefully she can answer all my questions.

Scariest Day of my LIFE!

 (warning: i am not going to skip any details, so it may be TMI for some people) 

So ALL day monday i had been having light cramps in my abdomen. i didn't think a thing of it because i have them ALL the time, and i was hoping that meant baby was growing that things were progressing. So then later afternoon i head to work and while i am sitting in the office listening to my boss explain something i get hit with SEARING PAIN in my abdomen. Then i felt like i had wet my pant a little bit. So for 20 minutes i sat there (i am SURE i was making faces at my boss, but really i was trying to hide the fact that i wanted to double over in pain) and tried so hard to listen to what she was saying. finally she finished explaining that particular things and i quickly excuse myself and rush to the bathroom. i knew what i would see, but i was praying it wasn't what i thought. then there it was, one little drop of blood. So i quickly pee and wipe and there are is blood everywhere now. i cleaned myself up and head back to the office. I calmly start saying i have to leave because i am headed for the ER, but my boss shouldn't worry and i will update her this evening or tomorrow. We canceled my training for the night, she asked if i was OK to drive, and i left.

I got in the car and LOST it! i called Kel 4 times and called my friend Meghan 2 times until someone picked up. I was screaming on the phone that i was loosing the baby and headed to the ER and i just want Kel, nobody else but Kel. I finally get a hold of Kel, get to the ER and go up to the lady to check in. The lady i am checking in with is pregnant. i explain that i am 12 weeks and have had severe abdominal pain and bleeding, lots of bleeding and her face must have looked like mine. i had stopped crying by now but she was in shear terror. Every fear she had ever had was on her face. She tells me to sit down and i calmly sit and watch Ellen on tv. Kel shows up and gives me a look that makes me cry, and Meghan shows up (poor girls with super sick) and starts rubbing my back. I get called in and then sent back to a room. I just sat there, crying and crying and crying. Finally a TECH came in to take me (alone, Kel wasn't allowed to come and i hated it) to an ultra sound. i saw the baby on the screen, but no movement. so as i am panicking the tech says i have to calm down because i am tensing my stomach and distorting the picture. she tries to move the screen so i can't see but i still saw as she measured babies heart beat. There it was, the little flutter that i needed to see to know that i am going to be ok!

I was sent back to the room for awhile and then the lab lady (also pregnant) came in to take blood. I have always been IMPOSSIBLE to get blood from and it took 2 different sticks, lots of tourniquet and little hand slaps to stimulate blood and the slowest flowing blood EVER for me to just get the vials filled. Finally after having blood taken out of my knuckle (SO painful) all is well and i lay back to relax.

An hour later (slowest hour of my life!) the doctor says that baby is fine, has a very strong heart beat, the are going to examine me just in case and that i can go home tonight. HUGE SIGH! I get examined and am sent home. Nobody ever really mentioned what was wrong, but i heard the doctor mention i might have torn my cervix. awesome, that doesn't sound painful. Anyway i was sent home and told to take it VERY easy for the next few days until i follow up with MY doctor. so i go home and i did not sleep one wink that night. I took the next day off work and slept all day. when i finally got up at about 4pm i was feeling better, but still had some cramping.

I called the doctor and she ironically is on vacation this week, awesome. so i talked to her nurse practitioner. Pretty much what we THINK happened is a. i ripped my cervix... fun or b. all my weight loss has led to a degrading of my body (but baby is getting all the nutrient therefor doing great) meaning that my body is slowly failing. either way it's not good. I am making sure to take care, especially until i see the doctor, and am being VERY careful until i know more information. Kel and i are still a little worried, but we have a very good fighter on our hands (despite it's laziness that gives mamma heart attacks). If at such a young fetal age our baby is fighting so much, i am scared of the thought of teenager kiddo!

So this was in fact the scariest day of my life. All the feelings that i had lost baby were unbearable. God has blessed us and truly has big plans for this baby. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a baby at any stage... you are all in my prayers! Please say a few prayers for us and for baby. I am hoping that this pregnancy gets a little bit easier, at the same time i will do whatever is asked of me in order for baby to be healthy!

Best Week So Far

How far along?: 12 weeks!

How big is baby?:  a large plum... but i don't eat plums so it's easier to say an average sized orange

Stretch marks?: there actually seem to be less this week. but i have one particular one that itches like crazy

Maternity clothes?: yup, but they are still a little bit big on me in the tummy area.

Sleep?: yeah, but i always wake up with aches and pains in various spots!

Food cravings?: nothing, i am just so glad when i get a chance to eat food!

Movement?: not that i can feel all the time, but it's getting really easy for me to find and feel the heartbeat whenever i want. And the heartbeat location changes all the time, so i know baby is moving in there. although for the ultrasound this week Baby was still a lazy Baby, maybe it's just that time of morning. We did get to see Baby move once at the end when i giggled a little bit. Baby seemed to be stretching.

  Thanks Megan for the frame! WE LOVE IT! this is baby at 10 weeks... the 12 week ultrasounds didn't turn out so well, but same just more defined limbs and fingers, etc!


Gender?: Online quizzes say it's a boy, midwives tales say it's a girl, pretty much it is whatever people want it to be right now!

Belly button?: honestly alert: i am weirded out by belly buttons and have always appreciated my MAJOR innie. but now that i am faced with the day it pops out like a snooze button; i am honestly concerned adn don't want a weirdo prego belly button.

What are you looking forward to this week?: FOOD! i am FINALLY feeling 100% better. I am off my progesterone (which is you've been on it you will do a virtual kart-wheel with me) and my attitude, crumminess, constant nausea, fatigue (somewhat, I'm still very very tired throughout the day, but not nearly as bad as it was), and bloating are all gone! i'm so glad to feel like me + 1! i can finally get excited!

So i went to the doctor this week. We found out this is in fact my last week in the first trimester! This is just music to my ears! I also heard something i NEVER thought i would hear. The doctor said she is worried about my weight loss (i've lost 25 pounds SINCE i got pregnant-aka since my wedding). For a girl MY size to loose that much weight is bothersome. Most women who loose weight during pregnancy gain a lot of water weight first and then start "loosing" all the bloating and water weight they have gained. That is not at all my case. I have literally eaten so little and thrown up so much that in the past 3 months that i am at my lowest wight since junior year of college. And this all happened during the holidays! Anyway, back to my doctor: she said that the baby is big for it's "age" and very strong. She is not at all worried that the baby is not getting what it needs. between my vitamins, hormones, and little bits of food here and there the baby is sucking nutrients out of my body. So her concern is actually for me, the mama. She is worried that because baby is getting so many nutrients that i am not getting the nutrients i need. this in turn is making me sicker because i can't support myself and it can cause problems AFTER the baby with recovery, getting sick easily, breastfeeding, etc. My doctor is hoping that i gain AT LEAST 15 pounds (from this point, so still -10 from where i started!) of baby weight. If i don't start gaining soon she said she is gonna have to try a few things. But i am already feeling better and i have not puked or wanted to puke in 3 days, so i have hope that we wont have to "try" anything. I am excited about my weight loss now that i know baby is healthy, but i have to work 2X harder to make sure i eat as much nutritious food as possible (i am eating SO MUCH vitamin C) to make sure I get some yummy vitamins too! It's weird to think i have lost weight because my stomach is getting bigger each week and i don't look like I've lost it except in my face and arms. 

Oh and my hubby wants me to add that the baby bump is obvious (to those who know me) now and he is super excited about it. he WONT stop touching my stomach whenever it's in reach. It's slightly annoying, but i'd rather him than random people be all over my stomach since it's his kid too! Oh and he is kinda bummed he doesn't get to be a bigger part of it all (and i read that is true for most hubbies) but i told him i can always give him food poisoning and he can pretend he's a part of it and he declined, so i think he's just being whinny!

                                                 bad picture of me.... good one of my tummy!

How far along?: 11 weeks!

How big is baby?:  A large lime

Stretch marks?: no new ones

Maternity clothes?: officially. i went shopping today and got two pairs of jeans, a pair of khakis and a shirt!
 
Sleep?: never all the way through the night!

Food cravings?: nothing really, i jsut eat it is it DOESN"T make me gag

Movement?: Kel pushed really hard on my lower abs and was able to feel the super fast itty bitty heartbeat! it was really cool. i just felt my own

Gender?: no clue!

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?:starting my new job. hopefully i will start to feel better soon.

3 sides to this story...

Today there are thousand upon thousand of people in Washington DC marching, some silent, some loud, some young, many old, protesting the Supreme Court Decision of Roe v. Wade. Today has been emotional for me and it's not just for one reason. I have three sides to my ProLife reason. All of them have happened in the past year. I have always been ProLife, i've even marched 3 different years in DC, but i never really understood the gravity of the situation until this year.

Side 1: The first event to shock the true meaning of ProLife into me was the adoption of my niece. I have talked about her often in my other blog. However today i thought about her more and more by the hour. She is only a part of my family because some woman i will never meet, some woman in a bad situation that i will never know, decided that Her life was to give her unborn child a life. Not only did she give birth and then struggle for the rest of her life to make ends meet and raise that little baby girl, hoping that little baby girl had a good life, but she gave that Baby girl more than just her first breath, she gave her a family that will make sure every single possible avenue of love, life and respect will be brought into that baby girl's life. God gave up his only son for the world to be saved. My nieces birthmom gave up her baby girl for that baby to be saved. Both were more difficult than i could ever imagine. Jesus saved the world because he was given up!

Side 2: My sister-in-law got pregnant last year. No father, no job, nowhere to go. She was easily in a situation many women claim they can't handle. Many women turn to a doctor and say "make this disappear so i don't ruin my life!" My sister-in-law toughed through it to save a BABY's life. It's very weird in one month seeing the joy an unplanned baby brought to my family because of a woman's selfless decision and then seeing the trials and tribulations that come from an unplanned baby. It's such a difference on each end, but both result in LIFE not death. Keeping a baby after a rocky situation is just as hard of a choice as giving the baby up. Many people would argue with that, but until they have seen both it is impossible to gauge. I believe after seeing both sides that there is a choice for every woman faced with pregnancy, wanted or unwanted, to make instead of life or death: Give up the baby and the baby a change with a family you hand choose, see the baby as you wish and know for your life that the baby is safe, warm, loved and doubly blessed by you, or to give up your life to keep the baby as your own no matter what happens after that. Both require a sacrifice, and neither is easy. However both are easier on a woman than the regrets to come after murdering a helpless child before they even take their first breath.

3. my third point of view is my own. I am pregnant. I understand that i am "fortunate" and many people would argue that my situation is different from other because i am married (i put that in parenthesis because i CHOSE to wait until i was married to have a baby). However, i have loved this baby with everything i have since the moment my fourth (yeah i was untrusting of the first three) pregnancy test said PREGNANT! Just because i am married doesn't mean i am ready, it doesn't mean i'm not scared, it doesn't mean i can afford this. My husband and i were barely making it work BEFORE this and already the extra expenses are a lot to handle. but my hardships and fear are no reason to give up. This already has not been an easy pregnancy on me. I have changed physically and mentally and been sicker than anyone could have ever prepared me for. me throwing up every day is no excuse to kill my child. 

I know that looking at the situations and my current situation is not the same as what many women's situation has been. That doesn't mean i am clueless. However, i have seen women loose a child, i have seen women miscarry, i have seen a teenage girl live with the regret of having an abortion and i have seen my own sister go through YEARS of trying just to find out that infertility means she will never biologically have children. Of all those situations the one that was hurt the most if the girl who chose HER life over her babies! If a person is willing to have an abortion i challenge them to go the whole 40 weeks, give birth to the baby, and then have to doctor kill it. It sound vulgar and asinine that i even suggest it, but ask yourself how much of a different there really is. Both require a great deal of physically pain and both endure more mental pain than almost any woman can bear. No baby is an "accident." Every baby was intended by God to live on this earth, not matter how long or brief a life. Unborn children can't speak up for themselves, but as a woman carrying an unborn child i have to say something. My baby deserves life, why shouldn't all of them?

1/4 of the way there!

How far along?: 10 weeks!

How big is baby?:  A plum... shich is cool because last week it was the size of an olive and now a plum... that means LOTS of growing has gone on!

Stretch marks?: yup... they are inviting friends too!

Maternity clothes?: yup... at least now i just wear regular clothes that stretch in the stomach
 
Sleep?: too much if you ask me. i sleep alright at nights and then take at least 1 nap a day! yesterday i was so tried i took 2 two hour naps and only then did i feel better

Food cravings?: lots of carbs... and chocolate!

Movement?: nothing i can feel, but we had a sonogram and the tech told us normally they can see the baby move and tried to get it to move, but apparently our baby is lazy and stubborn... kinds like it's Daddy!

Gender?: no clue!

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?: Going to Florida! There are lots of things to consider though, the doctor gave me motion sickness patched to go along with my pill because i am still really sick everyday. She warned that on planes i am likely to get very dizzy and very tired because of the altitude changes, so make sure i am not alone. Also i never would have thought to ask to be searched instead of going through the metal detectors int eh airport. It makes sense though because i can't be exposed to x-rays and that's what the machines do, so instead i just get violated! But i am really hoping this vacation will give me enough time to relax and burn a whole first trimester weeks so when i get back i can start working without being exhausted and maybe i will even start feeling better!


We got another sonogram this week. Baby actually looks like a Baby now and not a gummy bear. we saw all 10 fingers and all 10 toes and the most adorable little feet i have ever seen. Also we saw Baby's heartbeat, nice and strong, and Baby sucking it's thumb! i never expected to see all that this early and it's all starting to feel real (and scary!). Also this past week i put on a outfit and actually looked like i had a little belly not like i was just bloated! It was SO amazing!


The doc said i just have to make sure and listen to my body as much as possible. I've noticed i get more nausea when i am standing, so i try to stand as little as possible.  Also showers make em really lightheaded from all the steam my bathroom collects, so i take really short cold showers! It frustrating though because i miss hanging out with my friends, but i don't have energy to do anything, so i am hoping in February i can get caught up on my social calendar!

How far along?: 9 weeks!

How big is baby?:  an olive... and the skeleton forms this week along with fingers, toes, muscles, reproductive organs, pancreas and EARS!

Stretch marks?: one or two have popped up!

Maternity clothes?: i need to start considering this idea... quickly! officially have no old pants to wear, only stretchy ones and i have stretched out all my shirts! However, i am still loosing weight, it just seems to relocate to my abdomen!

Sleep?:  i think this is a dream of the past!


Food cravings?: fwhen i am able to eat, everything in sight! otherwise... lots of sweets!

Movement?: not yet, unless my stomach constantly churning counts!

Gender?: still think it's a boy but 2 months before we find out

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?: starting my new job and another doctor's appointment!


This week has been really hard for me. i have had less work and such because i am training for a new job while finishing up my old one. However i am finally starting to notice the effect pregnancy is having on me. I have been sick, not just nauseous and tired, but really sick to the point i am not functioning. Also (be prepared for TMI) we had a scare this week as i noticed a lot of bleeding. then as we were about to go to the ER we discovered that it is a side effect of my meds and it is from my constipation (aka it's wasn't a baby scare it was a different area that was bleeding!). This has led to me now eating as much, more weight loss and a lot of side effects. It sucks and i am overjoyed to be pregnant and the doctor is CONFIDENT all is well with the baby, i wish it was taking less of a toll on me! There's so much coming up i need my strength for! i will take ANY advice for how to feel better and get my strength back before next week!

first day of no nausea!

How far along?: 8 weeks!

How big is baby?:  about the size of a lima bean/gummy bear!

Stretch marks?: only the ones i already had!

Maternity clothes?: nope but i have been wearing a lot of stretchy pants! my jeans only fit witha  belly band and rubber band!

Sleep?:  varies each night, i don't sleep for long increments anymore, just a few hours at a time

Food cravings?: french silk pie, hot fudge sundaes, chocolate! my sweet tooth is finally back!

Movement?: not yet

Gender?: still think it's a boy but 2 months before we find out

Belly button?: normal! thank goodness~!

What are you looking forward to this week?: feeling better and less tired!


so a lot has been going on lately, we saw baby and got pictures of him/her! it was so amazing to see the heartbeat and it's finally all feeling very very real. We also got a house! so we will be moving in 2 months and have started packing, plus we will have a nursery to paint and make and it's exciting. Finally the doctor gave me anti-nausea meds and they are amazing! instead of nausea i get headaches but i will make that deal any day. it's been great to actually eat food and feel good! i've lost a fair amount of weight the past few weeks and although i am not excited about gaining them back i am excited to know that the baby and I are getting the nutrients we both need. i have been good about eating healthy and simply and having a lot of healthy snacks (fruits and veggies)! it's weird i could never make those changes to loose weight, but it was a no brainer to get me and baby healthy! i'm also blessed with am amazing husband who not only deals with all my attitudes and bitchyness, he still manages to make me breakfast in bed and pick up all my slack around the house so i can nap!